can u get pink eye on your cock?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
