i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
