i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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