do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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