Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
