But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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