The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
