We're like a lot better than the average bears
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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