Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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