i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
