guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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