We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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