I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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