There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
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