I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
