How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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