Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize