It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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