Joe is yelling at the trees again.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
