so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
