im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Dignity is for republicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me + whiskey = a bad person
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize