where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
