So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
