can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
