Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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