at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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