im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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