I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
i now understand why vodka
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
