The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
