So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
