i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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