I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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