...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
