all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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