you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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