just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
