im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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