I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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