it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
