Please, let me fuck your mom
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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