went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
