Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
