i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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