Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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