Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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