This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
