fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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