I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
