Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
