I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
