I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Randomize
