She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
My feet surprised me
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
