false alarm. still invincible.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
