i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
