So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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