yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
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you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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