I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
nutella sex= disaster
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
