I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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