What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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