Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Every concussion has its silver lining
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
