I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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