shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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