KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
