You smell like a Billy Joel song
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize