If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
