Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize