so that wasnt chicken after all
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
