I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
