What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She's the barista slut.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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