Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
