Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
