I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize